Life as a couple has many positive things: wanting and feeling loved, a certain feeling of security and comfort…But, despite this, there are times when we feel very overwhelmed in a relationship. Perhaps you feel that you do not have enough time for yourself, or that you are no longer independent at all. Sometimes this burden is temporary and other times it seems that it is here to stay, but if one is honest with oneself, sooner or later it can be solved. And this is important, because overwhelmed it is impossible for you to be a good boyfriend.
1. Not having time for yourself
You are delighted with your partner, but sometimes you feel that it would not be bad at all to have a few hours a day to be alone. Because you do everything together. The key is usually to sign up for a course or sport, find a place you can go alone… For example, the gym is a good option. There is no danger in meeting new people or doing things for yourself, so you will have more desire to see her again.
2. You are not going at the same speed
You like to go slowly and you see her as a matchmaker. Or the other way around, you’re looking forward to meeting her family and she seems reluctant to introduce you to anyone. In these cases, communication is key, because perhaps you do not understand the relationship in the same way and a middle ground will have to be found.
3. Meet your friends/family
You’re not afraid of commitment, of course not, but you hope you’re never within a 10km radius of anyone close to her. Until you get married, if you get married. But hey, you have to relativize, there is nothing wrong with meeting people. The most normal thing is that at least 50% of her family or friends like you, and the important thing is that she likes you.
4. The past
It’s a stupid burden, but it exists. Especially if you know something or a lot about their past (ex-partners, their crazy Erasmus, their festival days…). It doesn’t matter what he did before being with you, but you are overwhelmed by finding things from the past that can upset you or even hurt you. It is better to leave all that behind and not talk about it, and focus on your present, which is her.
5. The future
This is the most common burden. The near future overwhelms you – will you go to live together? pizza tonight? – and the distant one – is it the mother of your children? THE ONE? Or you are even afraid that he will leave you someday in the future. What has to come will come, but you will not be more prepared for having been worried. Love yourself, minimize the importance of time, which is elastic and we never know when we are going to run out, and enjoy.